by Mike Gerrard


After injuring my shoulder trying to learn how to hit a ball correctly (We really should not think we can become better golfers at this time of life), yours truly had to scratch from the game today, so it was purely as administrator that I attended today.

How lucky the rest of the group were, because as we all assembled to get to the tee, so the heavens opened. And how they open here! Forty minutes later the deluge receded and it was decided by all players to give it a go.

After I had seen the players off on the LAKE/OCEAN course I went to the office to enquire what was the full meaning of the huge sign on the registration desk which stated “NO RAIN CHECK”

For every ones information, at Phoenix it appears to mean that once you have paid your fees, there will be no refund, even if you have not started. I suggest to everyone that if the weather looks a little threatening that you inquire at the registration office before parting with your money.

Later I made my way back to the RELAX BAR and enjoyed a massage on my shoulder (and other parts of my body), after which some of the players had started to turn up for the presentation.

Much to everyone’s delight the weather ended up being very kind and not a drop more rain was experienced.

We first welcomed the new players to the group, MIKE WING, RAY SPENCE & TONY HILL, after which we moved on to the presentation.

As the headlines state it was STUART GORDON who won the “A” Flight with a fine 38 points, 3 shots better than the chasing pack, of which there were three on 35 points. The best back nine was from RICHARD BALDWIN to give him second place. Joint third spot was awarded to two players who could not be separated, HUGH BYRNE & BARRY COPESTAKE.

“B” Flight was a walk over for SERGIO VOLPI with 40 points. This after being cut 3 shots this week. As we have said before when you hit form it seems to last a couple of weeks. I am sure SERGIO will come back to reality soon?

SERGIO CAN BE SEEN HOLDING THE SPECIAL PRIZE OF A VOUCHER DONATED BY KEITH KEOHANE of KPK FOODS LTD. I have to tell you his Cumberland sausages are the best I have ever had.

Second place went to the Cheshire grin man PATRICK BROWNE who scored a respectable 37 points (normally good enough to win) with DAVID CZERNIE claiming third spot with 35 points.


Lucky draw winners were; Free drink, TONY HILL, free massage, BOB NEYLON, both of which are kindly donated by our hosts THE RELAX BAR. The other lucky draw of 50 baht went to CHRIS COFFEY.

FRIDAY GOLF has been a bit thin on the ground lately due to many things going on, but we have tee times booked for every Friday at noon. It seems that playing from the back tees may be a little bit too much of a challenge for some players (including myself?) so we will revert back to WHITE TEES on Fridays from now on.

For everyone’s information, at the start of next month Phoenix golf club re-introduces SPORTS DAY RATES for MONDAY’S, TUESDAY’S and WEDNESDAY’S. for walk in guests. The green fee will be 900 baht across the board for these days. Other days will be their normal charges. However if you wish to play on a Friday with our group you can enjoy a green fee of only 1,000 baht as a guest of the members.

Last week a small group went out on the ocean and experienced another great day on the ocean. The CATCH OF THE DAY being an approx 18 to 20 Kilo JACK FISH. This was awarded with a voucher for KPK FOODS once again.

For information regarding TUESDAY or FRIDAY GOLF at Phoenix and KPK CLUB SEA FISHING, please give me a call on 087 091 7565. 

Finally for your amusement;

A friend of mine had experienced the discomfort and embarrassment of a PROSTATE check on the national health service in the U.K. So he decided for the next test he would come to Thailand where the beautiful nurses are rather more gentle and accommodating.

As usual he was asked to strip off and lie naked on his side on the bed and the nurse began the examination.

The nurse stated “at this stage it was quite normal to experience an ERECTION”?

My friend replied, ” But I haven’t got an erection”

NO, BUT I HAVE said the nurse???????

NUFF SAID. HAPPY HOOKING, both at golf and fishing.

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