Did Hitler become the McDonalds clone?

There have always been those who doubt Hitler’s alleged suicide in the Berlin bunker in 1945.  After all, he could conceivably have escaped.   Nazi aircraft were still leaving Berlin’s Tempelhof airport as late as mid-April – a couple of weeks before Hitler’s disappearance – and there were a host of post war sightings. One claimed that the Fuhrer managed to flee to Dublin, a neutral power in world war two, where he became a croupier in an underground casino.  The source for this unlikely tale was an Irishman who said he had made a fortune at blackjack after the erstwhile fuhrer kept dealing him picture cards and aces.  Asked to verify the story, the Irishman showed a pack of cards.  Apparently, Hitler departed from Dublin and spent his last years as a matador in Spain under the watchful eye of general Franco.

Hitler at the age of 75 in retirement

Hitler at the age of 75 in retirement

As suggested in the movie The Boys from Brazil, other writers have suggested that Hitler was cloned after bits of his hair were smuggled out of the collapsing Reich.  Scientists working in South America even managed to create several Hitlers and one of them became extremely famous as a clown selling hamburgers.  The real Hitler would have been upset by this development as he was a strict vegetarian in later life.

Close examination of aerial maps of  Antarctica suggest there was a nazi naval base here to which Hitler fled after the end of the war.  Theorists speculate that the Americans blew up the place with atomic weapons in the 1950s which conveniently explains why you can’t see it today.  The problem with this theory is that whilst the Americans did test atomic weapons in the 1950s, they were nowhere near the sites identified by writers as being in the shape of a swastika.

Think-of-me-as-you-order-a-burger1

Think of me as you order a burger

There is even the possibility that Hitler made it to the moon or even beyond.  After all the nazis were first to put into operation ballistic missiles in 1944 and they may have managed to keep secret the outer space variant.  When challenged to say why Hitler would want to go to the moon in the first place, supporters of the idea say this is not a problem as he was joined later on by Elvis Presley and a host of other pop stars who used a stand-in at their funeral.  Sorry that should be lie-in.

There is even a book on Hitler’s escape from Berlin in flames in 1945.  Ron T.Hansic published Hitler’s Escape and emphasized that the most authoritarian doubter that Hitler shot himself and swallowed cyanide was Joseph Stalin.  Hansic argues, along with Stalin, that there was a double in the bunker during Hitler’s late reign and he took his master’s place.  In truth, there were several doubles of Hitler around in 1945 but none of them were discovered in the bunker or even near it.

Hansic repeats the claims of Gestapo chief Heinrich Mueller who told US interrogators in 1948 that he had arranged the escape from Berlin in a plane of both Hitler and Eva Braun on April 26.  Apparently they landed in Spain and lived happily ever after.  The problem with this theory is that Mueller disappeared at the end of the war and was never interrogated by the Americans or anyone else come to that.

In reality, there really is not any doubt that Hitler did commit suicide in the bunker.  His corpse, badly burned it’s true, was found in the Chancellory garden by the Russians who performed an autopsy.  They also found the remains of Eva Braun.  Dozens of nazi survivors from the bunker testified after the war that Hitler had died there. Indeed, he had threatened to take his life on more than one occasion as it became obvious the nazi cause was lost.  “Just one second and it’s eternal rest,” he told his generals as he fondled a revolver.  He even had poison tested on his favourite Alsatian pet Blondi.  McDonalds can rest easy – Hitler was no clown.

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