Beautiful, lovely, sexy, gorgeous, curvy and stunning. These are just a few of the words that we can use to describe the ladies we see around Pattaya, or are they LADIES? By any stretch of the imagination, we cannot be sure! Tourists who arrive seeking the company of ladies from the bars are often surprised by what they later find. Did they mean to? Do they then backtrack once they have found out? Or is it a fantasy to pursue quietly in the busy life of Pattaya.

I witnessed a funny event happening to one of our deep Southern cousins from across the Atlantic during Songkran 2009. I could not help smiling as he divulged his innermost feelings over his mobile phone to his sister for all to hear. He was having a tattoo done and to lessen his pain he had consumed some whisky. On leaving the bar with his intended victim for the evening he felt important. What transpired later in the evening, when he discovered that his lady had more to offer than he had expected, left him feeling impotent to say the least. What was amusing was that, although he seemed angry at what had happened, he also seemed boastful at having managed to attract such a beautiful lady boy and seemed to be very confused as to his real emotions. He was definitely unsure as to how he managed to let it happen but at the same time pleased. I found this hilarious, a burly man, speaking to his sister, who was probably stunned to think that she had a gender confused brother. I can only imagine her reaction and the conversation that could take place at the next family thanksgiving reunion dinner – who would be the turkey or got stuffed for that matter?

Another friend, a bit, OK a lot, worse for wear after a boys night out managed to allow himself to be talked into a massage. He also had a very large shock the following morning and, although he insists that nothing else happened, says he enjoyed the massage very much. Pinocchio also has a very large nose.

I must admit having been there and seen for myself, the ladies with their make up look stunning along with their figures. Sexily dressed with hanging long dark hair, it is easy to get caught, like a fish in a net, if you’ve had too much to drink. I have seen naïve tourists in the bar, watched them be snared. Once netted, it is usually too late to turn back? Once you’ve left the bar with your chosen partner, their figure hugging dresses giving nothing away. The inviting smiles of the girls and looks from their captivating, lustful brown, oriental eyes drawing their intended prey in like a bee to a flower.

Gracefully moving long legs which lure and often distract the intended tourist to make them interested and forget themselves. Waking up the next day, are they shocked? Did they enjoy their night or do they try to forget it?

Katoeys are generally accepted as part of the larger work force, in positions in hospitals, or in hotels as gracious receptionist and as waitress in restaurants. For us ladies we can see their hospitable ways and well groomed personalities merge as any other female in society. Ladies come in different sizes, small, tall, short and slim. However when you do encounter a lady boy they are generally very slim and tall. Many have had the various surgical operations that are readily available. Some lady boys do have boyfriends and are in relationships that can finance their surgery, making them feel happier in themselves as any woman would.

The hospitals offer many packages which include plastic surgery or adjustments for the breasts and genitals, along with the Adam’s apple or the complete sex gender change. Lady boys and females in general are forever striving for the perfect look. We want to please ourselves and our partners or for our work and self-esteem and confidence.

Over the Christmas period I, along with my husband, daughter and some friends visited the Tiffany show. It was a fantastic, colourful display of dance and humour representing various cultures of the world. Many families were there enjoying the experience. How could you not be inspired by the music, pageantry and ceremony in front of you, with the lady boys giving their all for us to enjoy the razzamataz. Like all females they love to look beautiful and be noticed. For a less formal, lighter and funnier experience, you should visit the Malibu Bar on Second Street. It is a great place to go for occasions such as birthdays. Here you will find a smaller version of the Tiffany show without all its splendour and much more basic, where everyone can get up on the stage to join in with such celebrities as Tina Turner gaining notoriety.

All of our genders have much to learn and strive for to accept each other. In Pattaya everybody laughs and gets along with each other. (Nong Tum) in the picture, made headway for the transgender community. She was internationally known for her part in the film the Beautiful Boxer. This does give us all hope that we can become what we strive and try for.

Ladies of the world, we should lift our glasses to the lady boys for the tenacity with which they pursue their dreams. When we see the many different faces before us walking on the streets, eating in the restaurants, drinking a drink sat next to us in the bar, we know that acceptance is the growing word in the world and we should smile and embrace it.

Ladies if you have friends that are lady boys, you will have a great time shopping. I have such a friend, she is fun. She knows about all the cheapest deals. Best hair and nail salons and where to go for a massage The best markets, and shopping. Excellent deals are out there for you if you know where to go. They do! Sit and have a coffee with them, have a chat and a laugh you will be pleasantly surprised.

Up and Away

Airports! Long queues, frustrated passengers with their passports at the ready! People surging forwards, not looking where they are going, eyes fixed upwards towards information boards. The airport check in area has become a hub for thousands of individuals each on a separate mission, dragging cases, mostly over others feet, behind them towards their gates.

Chill out! Relax have a beer and breath deeply! We’re all in the same position. Whatever your destination just let it happen, it’s not in your control anyway.

Ranting at check in staff is not going to change or help your cause. You must plan and prepare, leave on time and not forget your documents. You cannot blame the airline for your mistakes or shout obscenities at their staff.

Many people stand back and observe this chaos in total disbelief it is like a civil war developing in front of them.

On the other hand some of the airline staff need to understand that they are working with the public and providing a service, not holding the position of a warden on a chain gang! They need too display a pleasant attitude and good manners. A friendly smile does go a long way to ensure that you, the paying public, do feel that you value their patronage!

Patience is needed by everyone concerned, clear communication is vital – not always easy in South East Asia. A badge and a radio are tools to assist the public not to enable an erstwhile burger flipper into a modern day dictator!

Sit back, take a break have a kit kat, a coffee or a cigarette if you smoke.

I say it like I see it!

Ranting Rosie