I recently read an article about how  women        need to be more assertive to get ahead in the world of business. I think we
all know that this particular world happens to be dominated by grey, testosterone-fuelled business men who only appoint women if they behave like men (only better!)  In fact, if you do a quick search on Google you’ll find that there are courses all over the place for women to attend and learn how to get their own way in the land of men by asserting themselves and behaving more like the men they are competing with.
I actually have a problem with women who call themselves assertive because most of them over-do it and come across as downright rude. The worst offenders happen to be Australian women who think that ‘assertive’ means being in your face and using bullying tactics to get their own way.  These women appear belligerent, foul mouthed and ill-mannered, but maybe they have to be that way in order to be successful in businesses which are full to the brim with Australian men, who we all know
tend towards misogyny, bellicosity and uncouthness.
Nevertheless, Aussie females really need to learn the difference between being assertive and being downright aggressive.
And American women tend to confuse assertiveness with being loud.  Take Hilary Clinton (sorry, Rodham) for example.  When she is being diplomatic she speaks with a quite gentle voice, but when she is trying to get her point across in a kind of ‘I want you to do what I want you to because I say so’ kind of way her volume knob gets turned up and assertiveness translates into harsh American abrasiveness.

Actually, the women who seem to get the tone just about right are much closer to home.  Have you ever noticed how Thai ladies never raise their voice, never appear abrasive and always smile, yet still they get their way in the business world?  But don’t be misled by their apparent gentleness and seeming docility.  Thai women learnt a long time ago that getting your own way doesn’t necessarily involve being forward or pushy.
In fact, a Thai female’s secret weapon is the very thing that western women try to discard and avoid at all costs – her femininity.
You see that is where we western ladies have made a big mistake.  We think
that in order to be successful in the big bad world we have to become more masculine and reflect those traits that are apparent in successful business men.  However, the more we try and behave like men the less successful we become because, in all honesty, men don’t really trust women who don’t behave like women.
What women have to understand is that, despite all the feminist activity
that has occurred over the last fifty years, we are never going to achieve success by adopting male gender characteristics.  Successful women who get what they want do so because they maximise their femininity, their sexuality and any other female wiles that they can use, abuse or milk for what they are worth.  Instead of trying to morph into a male in order to compete on a level playing field we should admit that the playing field is never going to be that
level so we should use the gifts that we were given at birth and exploit our womanly wiles to the fullest.
If you are not sure what I mean just pull up a stool at a local beer bar and watch the girls in action – see how they flatter their prey in such an outrageous way, watch how they move in close
and make their male target the sole focus of their attention, admire the way they pout and simper until the punter can no longer resist so sits down and orders a drink.

Now I’m not for one moment suggesting that we overtly offer sexual favours in the boardroom (although that might certainly win a few new contracts) but I am suggesting that we can exaggerate some of our feminine charms to good effect.  Why aim to ape men by wearing a cover-it-all-up suit when a tight, figure hugging low cut top will get you far more attention?  Why try and out-talk the men when we can just lower our chin, raise our eyes and flutter those lashes when we want to get our own way?  Why thump the table when we can just cross our legs and hitch that hem up a tad higher?  So, ladies, may I suggest that we stop worrying about whether we are being assertive enough and start trying to be a little more sweet and sexy instead!

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Sod the Sound Check!

So there I was, enjoying the splendours of Central Festival Beach Road
and deciding what delicacy I was going to pick off the menu while I watched the sun disappear behind the dusky horizon … when my reverie was rudely interrupted by the sound crew on the lower ground floor who were preparing for an outdoor performance.  Now generally when sound crews here in Thailand opt to do a check on their mixing board and amplifiers, it generally
takes ten seconds while they mumble something into the mike like,’neung, song, sam’ or other such sophisticated stuff and then wander off to have a fag and wait for the band to turn up an hour or so later.  But no, not this

particular gang, oh no.  The guy doing the checking was clearly over qualified and was taking his job unusually seriously by ensuring that he spent at least ten minutes on each and every slider of his mixing board come graphic equalizer.  And no, he was not going to dabble briefly with his microphone for as little time as possible.  In fact, it sounded to me like he was going to repeat every letter of the English alphabet until he was one hundred percent satisfied that the sound was just perfect.  So it went something like, ‘a, a, a, a, a, a, a, tap, tap, tap, a, a, a, a, a, one, one, one, one, one, b, b, b, b, b,  …….’ and so on for long enough to make most people sharing the terrace with me realise that this was possibly going to go on for at least an hour.  And he was a persistent little b***ger too as no matter how many of us hung over the terrace and shouted loudly and rudely for him to shut up and go away (only
not using such polite language) he continued on his merry way and would not cease to voice words into his very well amplified mike!  The poor old waiters in the restaurant looked totally miffed as one by one their customers stormed off to find somewhere a little more sound-proofed and where they could enjoy some sort of conversation which did not involve shouting over the noise of the man with the mike downstairs.  So whose idea was it to do a sound check at sun down just when the maximum number of people would be seated at the outdoor eateries sipping a cold beer and enjoying the view?  Who thought it would be a jolly good idea to amplify a voice that would echo all the way up the Central building due to its interesting architectural design and find its way into every ear in a hundred metre radius? And don’t bother even attempting to answer that rhetorical question because, when it comes to decisions of this sort, there is absolutely no method in the Thai madness!

I say it like I see it!

Moaning Minnie