Ageing Gracefully

How are Pattaya’s expats coping with advancing years?  Here are some thoughts on the matter.

– I didn’t go to the gym today.  That makes five years in a row.

– I changed my car horn to gunshot sounds.  People get out of the way quickly now.

– You know that tingly feeling when you really like somebody?  That’s common sense deserting you.

– I decided to change calling the bathroom The John and renamed it The Jim.  I feel so much better saying I went to the Jim this morning.

– I don’t need anger management.  I need people to stop irritating me.

– Old age really is coming at a bad time!

– When I was a child I thought Nap Time was a punishment.  Now it feels like a small vacation.

– The biggest lie I tell myself is that I don’t need to write it down to remember it.

– My people skills are just fine.  It’s my tolerance of idiots that needs working on.

– If God had wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them higher up.

– I’m going to retire and live off my savings.  Not sure what I’ll do in the second week.

– I’ve lost my mind and I’m pretty sure my wife took it.

– Even duct tape can’t fix stupid, but it can muffle the sound.

– Why do I have to “press one for English” when you’ll just speak to someone you can’t understand anyway?

– Of course, I talk to myself.  I need expert advice.

– I have joined a support group for procrastinators, but we haven’t fixed up a meeting yet.

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